So, Four Years Ago I Passed This Test . . .

"I had a customer last week to the job centre Jessie, an African man,"
"I thought you said he was Brazillian?"
"No Jim, African, so he used to trade in diamonds and anyway, he was turning away from me in his seat! So I asked him why, and he said it's just huge, too beautiful!" She wiggles her finger, it catches the light.
"Ha, and it was probably from China or something, built upon the slave trade, like in that BBC show," I scoff
"No, I got it certified actually! from America," dad pipes up,
"Yeah, but I bet it was a lie . . . my friend Laura said that if a man proposed to her with a diamond ring she would refuse it out of principle, because he doesn't know her well enough to know she doesn't agree with them,"
"Yes, but nearly everything is built upon slavery," mum begins
"Well, she's a Veggie as well,"
"And does she wear leather shoes?"
"Dunno . . ."
"What about plastics, hmmm?"
"What's plastic got to do with anything?"
"Come on Jessie, what's plastic made from?"
[Split Second Pause, not long enough for a sufficient thought process . . .]
"Horses?"
[laughter]
"No! I mean, glue!"
"You think plastic is made from glue?"
"No! Horses are made from glue! I mean, wait. . . there was logic somewhere OK?"
"And what's plastic made from then . . .?"
[a longer pause, a 'clever' pause]
"POLYMERS! Ha!"
"And where do polymers come from?"
 "Erm, soil?"

I forget the rest of the conversation, in which the father explained where plastics come from.
But I think I can safely say OH dear. It really has been too long since GCSE science.